sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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