No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
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