I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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