If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
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