The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
