woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
