I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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