I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
