Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
