Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I have already put on my inside pants.
I want to fling myself into the sun
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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