Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
