Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
