Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
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I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
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Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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