Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
