All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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