Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
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