coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Found your dick twin last night
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Randomize
