I wannas sexs uuuuu
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize