I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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