The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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