Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
