i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
