"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
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