I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
