Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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