i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize
