what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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