I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
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