you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize