Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
you would pick up someone in the library
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
