I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
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