just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
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