Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
