I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
