We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Randomize
