WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
