I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
