names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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