Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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