I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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