I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
