is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
