Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Randomize
