You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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