he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I party with great urgency now.
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