you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
