I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
