just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
I think I just sharted jello shots
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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