Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
