were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Randomize
