I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Randomize
