I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
