thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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