You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
