dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Randomize
