just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
