We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
