i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I'm passing your future prison.
Be still, my beating vagina.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
