Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Randomize
