This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
